Week 2 Hold on Tight...

because this has been one heck of a roller coaster ride.  I started the week at 261.4 and had a fantastic week!  I received the Fitbit from my husband as an early birthday present (a week early), and had begun tracking all of my steps.  It really put my activity level into perspective.  I tried each day to increase my steps from the previous.  I was so excited by my commitment and progress that I decided to step onto the scale few days early.  I was down 3.2 pounds to 258.  I felt really accomplished and was looking forward to my official weigh in today. 

Then came my birthday…

I knew we had friends coming from out of town because we were having a party Saturday Night, so I knew a dinner out on Friday night was definitely in the works.  That's ok, because I was high on commitment from Friday morning’s early weigh-in.  So, I carefully planned out a low calorie day so that I could choose an appropriate option at dinner.  We went to a Mexican restaurant (already a strike against me), but thankfully to the new laws in California there was a calorie count on every menu item.  I carefully chose an option that would put me slightly above my calories for the day, but not a problem.  I will just eat half.  Then my dear friends decide to order me a margarita, because they know they are my favorite (not a Skinny Girl Margarita either).  I felt obligated to drink it, and they didn't think anything of it, because they don't understand what this weight loss journey is all about.

Two double shot margaritas later...

The inhibitions are lowered, my entire meal is gone, and I have nine waiters singing Cha Cha Cha and placing a fried ice cream in front of me.  To top it off I took just under 6,000 steps in the entire day.  I had a great birthday, but the idea that I let myself down weighed heavily on me.

The party was the next day, and I knew that I had to get things back under control.  I made sure there were plenty of veggie trays available, and I knew that I would be socializing in the main area most of the day, so I placed the food table in a different room.  That seemed to work really well, I never thought about the food, and I had a great time.  Unfortunately, it was a wine party with a wine bar, and we belong to several wine clubs and our friends are all big wine drinkers.  Several cases of wine were opened, and my dear friends wanted to make sure the "birthday girl" got a taste of each one.  I was up and walking around the entire time, but I guess I did more standing than walking, because I was still really low on steps.   

So...

Today was the big weigh-in, and stepped on the scale knowing that it wasn't going to be as good as Friday, knowing that I probably wasn't going to be able to declare my "never again for the 260s," but I really wasn't expecting to see 261.4!  UGH!!! That is the EXACT same weight as last week's weigh-in.  I am so disappointed in myself.  I can't believe that I have done it again! 

What I have learned...

This week has taught me a great lesson.  I have to stop hiding my weight loss journey.  Obviously my friends know I'm fat, and while I don't have to tell them how much I weigh, I do need to let them know what I am trying to accomplish.  They were just trying to be great friends, and had I not been so ashamed of my weight, and had just been honest with them about what I am doing, they probably would have still been great friends and would have gone out of their way to offer me better choices.  My mission for week 3 is to be honest and speak about my journey when the opportunities arise.